The dangers of thinking too much about what others think

"They'll only remember what you were like before you left." So, how is this quote comforting?

I'm paraphrasing what I heard on a TedTalk. It was in reference to long periods of absence from others, due to illness, break from work, or other transitions in life. The talk was about how we're all hardwired to project onto ourselves a false sense of what we think others see in us. (SPOT: gonna have to edit later for clarity.)

The quote applies equally to the larger context of life itself. For example, at your funeral, not a lot of folks are gonna give a damn about the greater extent of your life, particularly your private life. Each person will only remember the snippets of time that he or she spent with you.

We think that even our dearest friends are able to see what's locked deep inside of us, whether we opt to reveal our secrets or not. But that couldn't be further from the truth. My point is, when you feel like you're "out of the picture"--i.e., separated for a time from people --you get all too self conscious and you feel embarrassed or ashamed about yourself. Most of the time those feelings are unfounded and needless. Truth is, even those you care about the most don't care that much about what's going on in your daily life. They're just as consumed as you are about the goings on in their own personal lives. I suppose the only exemption would be for parents of small children.