Update, 4/12/2017: In sum, first round of chemo done (3/10). Second round started, 4/10. Into second week of radiation.
Second round of chemo was delayed a week due to low white blood count. Received some kind of booster shot on Saturday. Seemed to help push the count up in order for me to start back on chemo.
Upon second week of radiation with re-start of chemo, body experienced waves of nausea, dizziness, and headaches-- bad enough to wake me in the middle of the night for vomiting episode. So, trying now to head off side effects with anti-nausea meds. Seems to help some. Last night was better.
Getting in exercise when I can-- just around the block with Uno, my good and faithful mutt who's old and out of shape. She gets even more exhausted than I do, which makes me somewhat more confident that I'm not all that sick after all.
I've noticed, however, for the first time that the treatments are now clearly affecting my appetite and wreaking some havoc on my entire gastrointestinal well-being. And the constant fatigue has had a toll on my overall mood. To say the least it's making me rather grumpy. Feelings of inadequacy start to creep in. Worries about letting things slide and not wanting to do things. Loss of generosity? Too much preoccupation with self? At the same time, being too conscientious about feeling like a burden to my family, my "caretakers." I definitely don't want to feel that way, much less actually be some kind of burden. The stress they're going through on account of me is very real. I sense it. So, I tell them not to fuss but they don't always listen. And yet I do count on them for so much.
All the difficult life experiences require balance, right? But we're all perfectly flawed. What lessons to take from living through this particular experience, though, I have yet to fully grasp. If I think too long on it, I get overwhelmed. This is sure to be a long process, and time appears to be a weird reflection, not linear or moving along as it should. Perception gets mighty skewed.
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